I hate blogs about work. I really can’t stand any sort of social platform on which people bang out negative comments about the place and/or people which keep them employed. Are you stupid or what?

That said, here are a couple of things about work:

Open Door Policy
My god. This has got to be the craziest management concept to ever be considered. I have one of these “policies”. It’s meant to make me approachable and open to feedback and honest communication. What nobody tells you before you establish this open-door approach is that people will use this door…constantly.

Got a Minute?
That’s how it begins. The open door has given way to an impromptu meeting. If you’ve ever been suckered into a “drive-by” conversation that’s started with this question, you’ve no doubt found yourself looking for an open window to jump out of after about 15 precious minutes of lost productivity. After 30 minutes, your body has entered advanced stages of decomposition.

Reply All
Jesus. Reply all. REPLY ALL!! Such a display of mass social retardation that it has caused me to blaspheme for a second time in a relatively short blog! OMGWTFBBQ?!?!?!111

HUMP DAY!!
GEICO and this stupid camel are responsible for THE most obnoxious thing to ever hit offices on a Wednesday. I can appreciate the short run the commercials had, but the catch phrase has taken deep root into the minds of too many colleagues who have decided that repeated imitation is appreciated by everyone, regardless of the day. Hey, Mike Mike Mike Mike Mike……it is not.

Can you do me a favor?
Nope.

Brochures/Flyers/Handouts/Posters/Etc.
This may not apply to all of you, but I’m a marketing guy. I am ultimately responsible for the public-facing brand of my organization. Everyday somebody comes to me with a piece of garbage “designed” in Word with liberal use of the WordArt function, incorrect logos, and ridiculous attempts at grammar. I would say that I appreciate your effort, but I don’t. Not even a little. None of these will be used. I would sooner have a mime represent my brand. A MIME!

So that ought to do it for my existing work gripes. It’s always dicey putting these out there, but I figure that most of my colleagues who may read this can relate and won’t hold it against me. If they do, well, I guess I should’ve known better. The lessons are out there!

Happy Hump Day!!!

Cheers!